Almost as cool as my autographed "Perfect Strangers" promo pic.
Washups nonpareil Coreys Haim & Feldman just won’t give up, God love ’em. Have you even seen Haim lately? He looks like an worn-out beanbag with hoop earrings. Remember when he was on the cover of every teen rag on the planet? I just loved his coy half-smile and the way he could never seem to keep his mouth fully closed. He was like a retarded puppy dog, but oh so adorable. Wait. . . can you still say retarded?
For fairness’s sake, you should take a gander at Feldman. Don’t laugh — I’ve got all of his albums.
Having already shared needles and call girls, the duo are again going dutch with the A&E reality show "The Two Coreys." Whoopty-fuckin’ do, you may say. What they really need to be doing is totally annihilating night-stalking ass.
Careful what you wish for.
Lost Boys II: The Tribe is set for a 2008 release. But don’t look for it in theaters — this "sucker" is heading straight to DVD.
The original is a bona fide ’80s classic, with a not-quite generation-defining soundtrack and terrifically ridiculous dialog:
Haim: What’s that smell?
Feldman: Vampires, my friend. Vampires.
The new movie will surely have a smell of its own. According to the film’s executive producer, who likely just graduated from shooting porn, the sequel is "like the X Games meets Jackass."
‘Cause nothing says "undead" like leopard print jockstraps and para-boarding.
Haim, who according to Entertainment Weekly, is "super-stoked" about the project, sheds additional light: "It’s dark and deep — think The Crow meets Point Blank," he says.
I prayed I’d never have to.
But Haim only narrowly made it to filming. On an episode of The Two Coreys, the virtually unemployable actor has a breakdown when he hears he won’t be appearing in the cheapie sequel. Thankfully, his ol’ buddy provides a solid shoulder for him to bawl on. I mean, this dude understands: "Ninja Turtles — when they did the second one without me, do you know how much that hurt?" Feldman asks earnestly. Watch if you dare.
The LBII producers eventually came to their senses and everything is again rosy in Coreyville.
For now, bwah-hah-hah.