Our pad is located in the Friendship Heights section of DC, which is filled with old people and shoppers. One block from our apartment is a major retail hub with fancy-pants stores like Tiffany’s, Van Clef & Arples and Neiman Marcus. I call it Fauxdeo Drive.
At some point in our neighborhood’s history, they thought it’d be keen to place *lifelike* sculptures of *regular people* in *realistic* poses on street corners and in communal areas. I might add that these are appallingly bad sculptures — adequately representational, but just off enough to be a grotesque mockery of humanity.
One of the sculptures is of an area cop who passed away some time ago. I’m sure he was a swell fella, but I find it hard to believe that he would’ve wanted to be immortalized like this:
Is that not a fucked-up pose?
And what is that expression, exactly? Kindliness? Compassion? Constipation?
Another headshot. Lovely wife in background.
Those veins on his hands are highly textural. And incredibly gross.
That might be a working surveillance device — this is Washington.
A walkie-talkie ain’t all he’s packing.
They should really think about adding an Indian, construction worker and leatherman.
Here’s his story. But this patrolman has a dirty secret not revealed in the official bio…
Late at night, he likes to "cop" a feel!