The Contrarian

Deathspell Omega are the best black metal band in the world. Gorgoroth are second. (Or they were  — who’s left in that band besides Gaahl?)

Enslaved are the best post-black metal band in the world.

Karen Carpenter is the best deceased soft-rock singer.

That’s all I have to say. But I’ll leave you with this article about how hard ’90s music biz execs used to party. (Now they just sob uncontrollably in a fetal position while fondling Ace of Base CDs.)