What do you get when you take Rodney King, Steven Adler and Garey Busey, stick them in a house in Pasadena and roll film? The current season of VH1's "Celebrity Rehab," that's what. [Cue national anthem.] Yeah, and that fucked up guy who played Kenickie in Grease is there too. [Ed's Note: you mean Jeff Conaway from "Taxi." Never admit you know characters from Grease.]
I may not be up to date with the episodes, but let's review:
King, whom Adler thought was a famous basketball player, is by far the most balanced of the three. He didn't even go through any visible withdrawal, so he's been kind of a bore so far. But we can always hope for a relapse or similar antics. And at least we get to hear what it's like getting the shit kicked out of you by a half dozen of LA's finest while high on PCP. We can all learn from this.
Adler is another story. My God, the poor man can barely speak. He constantly appears to have just drank a fifth of gin, done eight lines of coke and huffed Penzoil. For those reasons, and for his 15 year old Mexican wife, he gets the style award for the three. [Ed's Note: Adler had more than one drug-related stroke, which is why he talk funny.]
Which brings us to Busey. The 'Buse has been off cocaine for 13 years, but they got him to do the show by telling him he'd be there to help the other patients. Well, now that he's in this place, they're shoving pills down his throat and a psychiatrist is evaluating 'ole Gary's brain to see if his 1988 motorcycle accident — in which his helmetless head met a phone pole at 45 mph — might have something to do with his erratic behavior, such as claiming to have lived on Atlantis. I love Gary.
So anyway, just keeping you informed of the best America has to offer.