[Hi. First off, a disclaimer: although I wanted my debut post on the prestigious Contrarian to be something important and thinky, the following web content has nothing to do with our nation’s favorite virus. I had my heart set on the title though, and couldn’t resist.]
Some evenings when myself and the lady are lying in repose and seeking the odd entertainment, we’ll pick ourselves a random subject, tie ourselves to it and go tubing down the internets’iz waves and waves of endless video. This has been a favorite pastime of mine for a few years now. One hungover afternoon, for example, I consoled myself by watching as many freestyle rap battles as I could find, alternating with street fight videos (parlez-vous Kimbo? Right. I won’t even link that name. Just go find out.)
Recently, while on a search for as many amateur productions of Annie as we could stomach (with a preference for my favorite number, “Maybe“), we came across this horrifically perfect exploitation of the ambitions of adolescent girls:
Suffice to say there is a motherlode of excruciating and delicious video moments in the ensuing search that this inspires, and I encourage you all to take your own voyage of discovery. Theater kids are always as appealing as a bugle blast to the face, and the American Idol-esque ambitions of the doggedly entitled are a surefire hit, but there is something uniquely heartless about adding the tender element of a young girl’s white-hot Anne of Green Gables obsession to the mix that makes these a must-see. (Fellas, understand your woman: get to know some Anne.)
And, in an attempt to bring it back around to my orphaned title: I guess what I’ve learned from the internet today is that there is truly no pandemic, no natural disaster, no river too deep, no mountain too high that it cannot be overcome with the passion of a young girl’s dream if we can but find a way to harness that sucker.