Did I spontaneously create these apocalyptically awesome Nicholas Cage Japanese Pachinko commercials WITH MY MIND?? It’s like someone massaged a gelatinous, pre-reason amoeba of a dream out of my head, poured a million dollars worth of top-shelf cocaine all over it and shoved it inside my computer. Seriously, please watch if only to reassure me that I’m not the only one seeing this:
Additionally, did I create this new book about Joni Mitchell‘s Blue album WITH MY MIND?? I saw an ad for it in the latest New Yorker and got so excited that the melancholic 23-year-old vegan Women’s Studies major in me hugged herself silly. I couldn’t even be bothered to wait for a FedEx — I went out and bought it at an actual books-store (they still have those here in the “Harvard” neighborhood of Epcot Center). It was the greatest reason I’ve had in years to remind myself how to read.
In other news, did I write the season finale of “30 Rock” WITH MY MIND?? Seriously, that’s a Hulu link: do yourself a favor and go watch it. I mean, it is my birthday. . . is the whole world fucking with me? I demand you all come out and tell me now, for soon I will wet myself and not in an awesome way.
The too-amazingness of “30 Rock” is a little bit easier to understand though, in a world that also includes NBC’s “Parks & Recreation,” which I don’t encourage anyone to see unless you hate your eyes. How can anything that involves so many things I love — Amy Pohler, the best thing to happen to SNL since the idea to turn the TV on in the first place; Aziz Ansari, hel-lo Bro-mance!; Rashida Jones, yes please; and writers from the US version of “The Office” (to be lauded for the simple fact that it does not suck in translation) — result in something that actually hurts to perceive? It’s like watching the world’s best basketball team being forced to play hockey underwater. I mean, come on: why take the writers for “The Office,” get them to write a show like “The Office” which takes place in another Office, and shoot it and structure it like “The Office” and throw a wild gumbo of talent at it? It’s like watching your favorite comedians being eaten by that gigantic mouth-beast from Return of The Jedi that takes a million years to digest its prey. Why, why, why, why??
You want proof? Watch this eight minutes of Aziz on Kimmel. It’s funnier than the ENTIRE SEASON of “Parks & Recreation” combined. The poor guy looks almost disappointed when Jimmy congratulates him on the show being picked up for a second season, or maybe that’s just me. All I can console myself with is that hopefully the light at the end of this tunnel is the worldwide domination of Aziz Ansari. It reminds me of a favorite Cleary family anecdote in which a shipment from the publisher Little, Brown had arrived at my parents’ bookstore. My dad was busy and couldn’t receive him, so absent-mindedly called out to my mother across the store (by her nickname): “Roddy!. . . the Little, Brown man is here!” Yes he is, Dad. Yes he is.