Here in DC, we are privileged to have a museum honoring the soon-to-be-dead art of journalism. Fittingly, for a profession committed to punny titles, it’s called the Newseum. I’ve never been to the exhibits, but I have gotten tipsy on its roof at one or another fancypants thing. Great sightlines!
Anyway, the Newseum has decided to get in on the whole “hey, Woodstock happened!” craze with Woodstock Kids Day — an event that gives today’s prescription-addled youth the chance to experience the acid-fried clusterfuck of yore through crappy arts and crafts! Dig this copy:
Celebrate the summer of peace and music at the Newseum’s grooviest Kids Day ever!
See the new “Woodstock at 40” exhibit and original rockumentary, then take the kids to craft 60s-style souvenirs. Make a cool tie-dye bandana, create a protest button or design your own hippie love-bead bracelet.
The only way this would be better is if Dennis Hopper read it into your ear while hand feeding you hashcakes. Say, isn’t he a Republican now?
For an extra “realistic” experience, I suggest that they have random announcements on the Newseum intercom with helpful information like, “umm, so. . . you might wanna stay away from the brown animal crackers.” Or maybe, “If anyone is having bad vibes because of too much Elmer’s Glue, we’ve got time-out tents across the premises, where you can, like, get it together.”
As the kids say, “far out.”