I’ve been waiting for an excuse to post the following couple links. They’re funny, but I haven’t been able to put a finger on exactly what they had in common that entertained me.
Now let me first get this out of the way: I love me some porn. Weird, right? It’s true. May God strike me dead, but photo and video depictions of attractive individuals locked in sexual congress somehow really fries my burger. And not just any old crap, see. I love me a burger too, but I’m not about to trust that shit to The Clown.
But I was thinking the other night about pr0n (as distinct from porn) and how funny it was that, when discussing the, uh… above mentioned activities, one must disguise themselves (or perhaps distinguish themselves) from the faceless drooling masses on tha intarwebs that are all too happy to… actively share your interests, shall we say. I guess what especially interests me about the word pr0n is the phenomenon of meta-porn: the way the internet, already heaving with a load of sex-crazed content, has spawned a parallel world of talk about talk about sex. Pr0n is a way to discuss porn without actually speaking the word. It’s a sort of code word for the phenomenon of porn. It’s as if porn itself has given birth — whoops! — to a whole new phenomenon. In a world where porn is norm, the world of pr0n now becomes (almost) more interesting.
One poetic way we all get to enjoy the innovation of porn every day is the world of spam. I’ve made a collection of my favorites over the years which I won’t go into now but just refer you an earlier post. I enjoy these so much because while they represent some of the most seedy parts of internet commerce and a greasy, violent, self-loathing view of sex, they simultaneously have a wonderful humorous childlike surrealism. One of my current favorites, purportedly from “Mildred Cranor” and inexplicably entitled “Let’s Replace Ann”, entreats: “Don’t rely on luck in such important question as your ‘weenie’s’ combativity!”
Another favorite porn-world by-product is the hilariously po-faced Porn For The Blind. Whether began in earnest or a brilliant prankster’s online art project, the site dedicates itself to sharing the internet’s wealth of sleaze with the vision-impaired via deadpan narration of popular works. It encourages people to submit their own accounts of films and submit them, which some done seriously and others have done, um… less than seriously. Regardless, you owe it to yourself to check it out. True to form, the site itself is dead plain and entirely SFW, but I’d avail yourself of some headphones.
I think the thing that’s refreshing about these is that in a hoary old porn-saturated world, they almost seem to recapture that weirdly innocent pubescent moment where we felt a strange giggly awkwardness with sex, a confused giddy wonder as we began to negotiate sexuality for ourselves.