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Studying Hypothetical Zombie Attacks: Is This What We Pay Our Scientists For?

Posted by Casey Rae-Hunter on Thu, Nov 12, 2009

Apocalypse!, Casey Rae-Hunter, Derangement, Teh Hotnezz, We're All Gonna Die!

zombies

Slow news day. But I did stumble across this item at the always-reliable Grim Reviews site. Seems that some bored Canadian researchers (Canadian!) have gamed out what the zombie apocalypse will actually look like. And it ain’t pretty.

If zombies actually existed, an attack by them would lead to the collapse of civilisation unless dealt with quickly and aggressively.

That is the conclusion of a mathematical exercise carried out by researchers in Canada. They say only frequent counter-attacks with increasing force would eradicate the fictional creatures.

So I guess my original plan — to find a way to Undead Molly’s house, where her expertise and zombie-killin’ accoutrements would greatly increase my odds of survival — is still a good one. But let’s hear again from those science-types:

In their scientific paper, the authors conclude that humanity’s only hope is to “hit them [the undead] hard and hit them often.”

They added: “It’s imperative that zombies are dealt with quickly or else… we are all in a great deal of trouble.”

You don’t say.

“The paper considers something that many of us have worried about — particularly in our younger days — of what would be a feasible way of tackling an outbreak of a rapidly spreading zombie infection.

“My understanding of zombie biology is that if you manage to decapitate a zombie then it’s dead forever. So perhaps they are being a little over-pessimistic when they conclude that zombies might take over a city in three or four days.”

And there you have it. Check out the full article here. And Molly, let me know if you need another pair of live bodies for your anti-zombie shock troops. I’m pretty handy with a machete.

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