It’s officially Holiday Month. Nothing you can do about it. The harder you try to tune it out, the louder your grocery store will blast Paul McCartney‘s feverish, surreal, so-terrible-it kinda-blows-your-mind-and-becomes-awesome “Wonderful Christmastime.”
Let’s face it, most Christmas songs are not good. Well, the hymns can be quite beautiful — think “O Holy Night” — but the radio-friendly versions of them are invariably nauseating. (Think Celine Dion strangling “O Holy Night.” Yeah. Sorry.)
What’s the discerning connoisseur of popular song to do? Ignore the stifling contemporary readings of hymns and boring carol retreads: look to original Christmas-themed material to really roast your chestnuts.
The late-1940s boozy duet “Baby, it’s Cold Outside” was classed up by Dean Martin in ’59. (Listen to those lyrics; ring-a-ding-date-rape!) It seemed to have a moment a few years ago. Its culmination was getting Deschaneled in the Will Ferrell vehicle Elf, to admittedly adorable effect. But its since served time on too many car commercials to charm anymore.
Run-DMC‘s “Christmas in Hollis” will always be near and dear to my heart. Unfortunately, it’s right on the line between Actual Song and Novelty Song. Okay, the exclamation “Oh my god! A ill reindeer!” might push it over that line. But notice how the production (hard beats, turntabling, no singing) and their personal style (slim black jeans) are so dated, they now feel fresh.
The Pogues‘ “Fairytale of New York” is a perfect Christmas song. If Shane MacGowan realizes it’s Christmas eve, there’s no choice but to celebrate with him. Kirsty MacColl‘s soaring harmony lifts you out of the drunk tank and onto the city streets, with the bells and the chill and the promise of another dawning year. Plus, I can’t prove this, but I’m fairly certain this is the only Christmas duet in which the woman is called a “slut” and the man a “faggot.” [NB: Yep, that's Matt Dillon as Shane's arresting officer in the vid.]
But for me, what’s below is the ultimate version of the ultimate Christmas song. It’s a Christmas song that’s actually a breakup song. A Christmas song which acknowledges that, while sometimes this season makes you want to put a batch of cookies in the oven, sometimes you’ll just want to stick your head in it. (It’s a Joni Mitchell joint, but I prefer Fran Healy‘s voice on it.)
What are your favorites? Is it ever okay to love this, for example, or is it merely an amusing curiosity for the Bowie loyalist?
Yes! Everything about the Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack is wonderful (score stuff and vocal stuff.)
I mentioned the Bowie/Bing duet because I wasn’t sure whether people love the song, or just love Bowie so much that their affection carries over. (I’m probably in the second camp.)
Last year, I was laying into the Sir Paul song, saying it made me feel like I was in a Clockwork Orange nightmare, etc., and my sister interrupted me and said “I like it. It’s just nice.” I felt like the biggest crank. So you’re def not alone in loving its cheery simplicity.
I love both Darlene Love’s original “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) and U2′s cover. In fact, I might record a version of it just for Contrarian readers, if I get a spare sec. I think I’ll Elliott Smith-ify it.
I love David Bowie AND the Bowie/Bing clip. Lots of creepy behind-the-scenes stories there. Apparently, Bing HATED Bowie — thought he was a subversive Brit poofter. And David was so fucking high (Station to Station era, remember) that it must’ve seemed like some surreal dream.
Which is why it’s perfect high/low art.
Great post, Katie!
I remember the U2 song being on the first “A Very Special Christmas” collection (there are like a hundred of those now, each exponentially worse than the last.) My fam wore out that cassette. It’s where I first heard the Run-DMC song, and there was also a suitably dark Stevie Nicks “Silent Night.”
We had a great guest list over at Pure Pop on the subject:
http://www.purepoponline.com/guest-list-adrienne-perry/
I love this list.
Heck yeah, the Darlene Love song is so good. Makes me think of “Gremlins”.
Have a very Merry Spector Christmas everyone!
Another one came into my mind last night… “Christmas Wrapping” by the Waitresses. I dig that song a lot. Also, Pearl Jam had a song called “Let me Sleep (It’s Christmas Time)” as a B-side during the early 90′s.
You can pretty much assume that any of the old Motown Christmas recordings are classics – I mean, Smokey Robinson singing “Jingle Bells”- or The Temptations singing “Little Drummer Boy” are memories from childhood that can not be aurally erased. Motown may be the purest form of rock music out there, mix it with Christmas songs and you get perfection.
Two of my favourites:
The Sonics, Don’t Believe in Christmas : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbIdCfqyvJk
Red Sovine, Billy’s Christmas Wish : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2asrRn9QBE4
I live the eerie old choral songs, but as far as modern stuff goes, Reigning Sound’s If Christmas Can’t Bring You Home is great when you’re not feeling the holiday: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9cj535TOCQ
When I’m feeling it, I usually go for John Fahey’s Christmas records.
I think that I am the only person who likes the Sir Paul’s Christmas ode. To me, it is a simple and sings like a nursery rhyme. This is also coming from a guy who hates The Holy Beatles. And I love The Pogues ditty.
“Christmas Time is Here” by the Vince Guaraldi Trio is an all-time favorite – made immortal from Merry Christmas Charlie Brown. It always brings back feeling of yuletide melancholy.
John and Yoko’s “Happy Christmas (War is Over)” makes me feel it, also “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” by whatever celeb-choir of the eighties (Band-Aid?). Good stuff.
But, the big one that always makes me yearn for the holidays is Bing and Bowie’s “Little Drummer Boy” – even Bowie’s ad-libbed vocal displayed bridge in the middle is a blessing to my ears.