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Caribou Barbie + Procreate Kate Go Camping

Posted by: Carrie Stanziola    Tags:  guns, Joe McGinnis, Kat Gosselin, Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin's Alaska    Posted date:  December 18, 2010  |  No comment

Some time ago, I asked Contrarian readers when Sarah Palin‘s 15 minutes (OK, 20) of fame would end and she’d return to her natural habitat. Well, she did go back to to Alaska, sort of. But judging by the camera crew in tow and the fact that it’s almost 2011, I think we know better than to hold our collective regarding the former.

On a recent episode of “Sarah Palin’s Alaska”, she invited her sister in fecundity, Kate Gosselin, to go camping with her family. Within the first five minutes, Palin is shown in a gun shop. “Just like you can’t walk down the street in New York City without seeing someone with a Blackberry, you can’t walk outside here without seeing someone with a gun,” She says. (I’m paraphrasing, but you get the gist.)

Of course, Blackberries tend to be less lethal than firearms. [Editor's Note: not in Washington!]

In one contrived moment, Sarah announces to youngest daughter Piper that they’ll be camping with Kate’s clan. Despite her mother’s claim that Piper is a big fan of Kate’s show and kids, Piper flashes a feral grin upon hearing the news. Equally disturbing, mother and daughter share seem to share the same hairdresser. We’ll never be free of the Palin dynasty, methinks.

When Kate arrives, she and Sarah swap horror stories about celebrity. Palin complains about writer Joe McGinnis renting a house next to hers for his book, leading her family to construct a fourteen-foot fence around their property. The author’s name is unmentioned.

Keep in mind what McGinnis himself said about Palin’s outrage: “I am not taking video or photos and I found two people who were trying to take a picture over the fence and I told them that they had to leave, so in a way, I am serving as a kind of a buffer.”

For her part, Kate claims to have “been through it all.” I guess “all” means voluntarily subjecting oneself to risky in-vitro-fertilization, choosing not to terminate any of the embryos despite medical uncertainty, pimping your kids out to a reality show because you really need the money and having all kinds of plastic surgery, then you have “been through it all.” But it was also all your own doing.

The two ladies attend a class called “Learn to Return,” which is close to what is sounds like: learning to protect yourself in the case of a bear attack. This being “Sarah Palin’s Alaska”, it also prominently featured guns. Kate on bears: “I will die of a heart attack.” Promise? “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to protect my kids,” Kate also offers. This oath seems contradictory to her commitment to exploiting them. Then again, they would be less lucrative if killed or maimed by bears.

When the gang gets to the campsite, Kate stands petulantly under the tent, and generally looks and acts miserable because of the weather. When she can stand it no more, she leaves. Bill Maher, I think Sarah Palin has some competition for the title of “Queen of Faux Outrage.”


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About the author
Carrie Stanziola
Carrie Stanziola graduated from Bard College in 2005. Since then, she has held a number of illustrious positions, including working as an AmeriCorps Vista volunteer and teaching English as a Second Language to adults who suddenly found their first language useless. She lives outside Boston with her Maine Coon cat, Oliver.



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