I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but our country is kinda a little wee bit fucked up right now. Thankfully, I see a wonderful trend that growing in popularity, and I’m all for it!
All over the country, people are waking up and realizing that if we are going to make this nation strong again, what we need to do is start hating each other and thinking people who disagree with us are insane. As long as we continue to shout from highest mountain that our neighbor is our enemy, we will prevail! Turn your back to the person next to you, but keep watching them suspiciously, and stand with me, people!
Think about it: whichever political party manages to win the majority gets to kick the other side out of the country for a few years, right? So why would we ever have to work together? You know who likes to work together? Communists.
I’m sorry you had to see that. Scary isn’t it? But you need to know what we’re up against. People who want to work together are Communists, and you may know some. If you do, report them to the FBI. Communists know they are sick, and want you to put them out of their misery. If you elect me PresiGov, I promise that for every Communist you turn in, I will send you one adorable Oligarchical puppy!
Now that’s a pooch who knows how to hate! So remember, people, you are the only one that matters! You are the only one who isn’t crazy! If someone disagrees with you, they need to be arrested or deported. Get them out of the way!
Stand with me and against each other! Divided we stand!
I’m Johnny B. Hatin, and I’m running for PresiGov!