[Editor’s Note: This article is clearly inspired by my recent Facebook rants about new bands like The Pains of Being Pure at Heart and Silversun Pickups. Also, it pretty much captures my feelings about those sad and tired clowns Jane’s Addiction. Thanks to Arthur Adams for making me feel like even more of a curmudgeon.]
Oh man, what’s up with that thing that people like now? It’s so terrible and transparent and derivative! I can’t believe people think it’s so cool. Remember the thing we used to like and think was super cool back in the day? It was so original and meaningful and genuine! The thing that people are so into now just steals from that older thing, and acts like it invented it.
Back when I liked that original thing so much, nobody else had even heard of it! It was totally obscure and dangerous and revolutionary! I didn’t even mind so much when other people started to like it, too. It was kind of thrilling to see that thing written about by Thing Experts — people whose opinions I respected in all manner of things (most of which I liked as well). I became friends with a bunch of cool people who were all into that cool thing. And we’d hang out and talk about that cool thing all day long. It was awesome. But then everything started to change…
After a while, more and more people liked that thing too. What was up with that? It wasn’t like they were cool people. I don’t think they even GOT what the thing was all about! I started to hear idiots rambling on and on about the thing that I LOVED, and they didn’t even know what the fuck they were talking about! What’s worse, as the thing grew in popularity, I tended to be less and less enthusiastic, surprised and challenged by it. The greater the mass appeal, the less I loved it. The thing was also starting to change. Soon it was almost unrecognizable to me. My friends and I lamented the decline of that thing we once loved so dear. This thing we had practically grown up with!
A silver lining: the nostalgia we felt for the way the thing used to be inspired us to make our own thing! And when we did it people would come up to us and tell us it kind of reminded them of the thing we all loved so much. We were so psyched! That we could continue doing this fresh, meaningful, unique thing that it seemed barely anybody understood like we did!
We met a lot of other folks who were just as into the way the thing used to be, all of whom were attempting their own version of it as well. Some were more successful than others, but we all had a common love for that amazing, obscure, original thing and a total hatred for what it had become and all the dumbasses who loved the new lame version of that thing. God, they made us so mad! We’d try to educate them about the way the thing was when it STARTED. When it was real. When it moved and inspired us.
But it was no use. They just wanted their safe, recycled bullshit thing. The thing we liked wasn’t anything like that! It came from a place of real honesty and humanity. It wasn’t just some regurgitated crap, like the things are today! No sir. These things today are either tired clones of things that were never as amazing as the thing we loved, or worse, ripoffs of what the thing we loved became when it started to be bad. Or even ripoffs of the ripoffs of the thing we loved. What a bunch of posers!
Now, don’t get me wrong, I realize that the thing I loved so much wasn’t made up out of wholecloth. But that thing — OUR THING — was inspired by only the best, most original things that came before it and a reaction AGAINST all of the worst, most conventional things in the world.
I wouldn’t have liked anything else!