First of all, you’ll have to lie a lot. Like, a lot, a lot. It may appear at first blush that the act of lying is uncharacteristic with being a Good Person, but this is exactly the kind of cognitive dissonance you will experience as you try to spackle appealing personality characteristics into some semblance of a wholesome, trustworthy individual. So keep your putty knife handy; you’re gonna need it.
Another key to being a Good Person is by attending — superficially, of course — to the emotional needs of those around you. One way to do this is to listen. Again, nothing requires you to listen closely, or even have anything of use to say in return, but rather to simply sit there and let another person prattle on about themselves without betraying your disgust through facial expressions or an axe pick to the forehead. Difficult, of course. But possible, I assure you.
If you are to truly become a Good Person, you must have the appearance of putting others’ needs before your own. You do this by not having any interests or passions. You can still have personal opinions, so long as they are kept deeply submerged and never, ever made public. But you are absolutely not to have any desires that could supplant or override another’s. Because that is not what Good People do.
If you follow these simple steps, you will achieve a glory known to very few. You will also undoubtedly be one of the most pathetic individuals on the planet. But you will be Good.