The first thing you’ll want is an Ivy League education. However, a top university pedigree is not necessarily a requirement for being a striver. It surely helps to be a scion of old money, but that, too, is not a prerequisite. In fact, to be a striver, you really only need a few basic qualities. I will say this, though: your success in striverdom is very much like the old real estate adage, “location, location, location!” To up your odds of ending up in a position loftier than, say, janitor, you will need to move to a major metropolitan area. (Detroit does not count.)
Being a striver is essentially an attitude. A bit like being a douchebag, but there are some key differences. To achieve this sublime state of being, one must project a relentless desire to be more important than anyone one encounters. To work your way up and build confidence, start small. Berate your local barista. Cut people off in traffic, then honk your horn repeatedly and flip them off as though it’s their fault. Criticize someone for some aspect of their selves that they can’t change — personality, appearance, etc.
Once you feel that you can commit callous acts without the slightest twinge of guilt, you are ready to go after your dreams. (Provided that you’ve moved to the major metropolitan area.)
The first thing you’ll want to do is get hired at a place with any amount of prestige. Again, you may need to start small, if you don’t have that Ivy League education or family money. But it’s important to get this right, because this initial perch will prove to be your stepping stone as you claw your way to greater power and notoriety. Be very aware of existing hierarchy. Flat structures may seem ideal, but careful — this could also mean you will simply have MORE people standing in your way. If there is a rigid reporting structure, well, seek out those who must be obliterated, and do just that. With EXTREME PREJUDICE.
At some point, if you’ve made the right moves, you will be noticed by outside entities. These could be potential employers, sexual partners, stalkers or documentary filmmakers. Take advantage of anything that has the potential to advance you, but be careful not to waste your precious and expanding influence on just any old person, project or thing. And if you find that those seeking your skills or currying your favor may, at some point in the future, pose a threat to your continued striving, destroy them with EXTREME PREJUDICE.
You may become President of the United States of America. You might become the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. The important thing is that you DON’T STOP STRIVING. To do so would be to submit to a life of the ordinary, to join the ranks of the befuddled masses who stumble like something far more noxious than zombies through numbingly quotidian existences. That’s not for you. You’re a striver. Trust me, we can smell our own.
PS: Might wanna keep an eye on your backside…