“Is the purpose of a wall to keep things out, or in, do you think?” she asked,

her hair backwards in the wind.

“Enough with the questions,” I said,

and kissed her while I had the chance.

1. Hilarious/compelling concept

2. Concept is infinitely repeatable

3. Content is easy to produce.

I came up with these rules off the top of my head, but I still think they’re valid. Interesting that The Contrarian doesn’t quite hit the mark. Delancey’s new site, Stairway to Poetry, nails all three.

The concept couldn’t be simpler, but it’s definitely got legs: “an algorithmic approach to poetry composition using classic rock lyrics and Google translator.” Fucking. Awesome.

Here’s the AC/DC classic “Back in Black,” translated thusly:

English->Hebrew->Lithuanian ->Welsh->Vietnamese->Spanish->Swahili->Finnish->Japanese->English

Back in black
I go to sleep
I am a long time, I’m very excited again
Well, the opening
Link
I still keep it
I keep looking at the sky
It is not so,
Forgot your funeral, even for the dead
My nine lives
Cat
Using the behavior of wild

I’m back
Yes, I’m back
Well, I’m back
Yes, I’m back
Well, I go back, come back
(Yes) I’m black again
Well, I’m black

Back
Cadillac
Coup, called
Yes, I am an explosion
Gang
When I persisted, they caught me
Is again the way I am,
I head
Nobody is going to rap
Look at me now
I’m playing now
Do not push your luck. To my way

I’m back
Yes, I’m back
Well, I’m back
Yes, I’m back
Well I go back, come back
(Yes) I’m black again
Well, I’m black

Well, I have Yes, I’m back
Well, I have Yes, I’m back
So I go back, come back
I’m black again
I’m black again

Hooo yes
Oh well
Yes, it is
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, right
Now back to the top
So, I repeat, I repeat,
Back
Back
Back
Back
Back
Back in black
I’m black again

———————————

Wow, huh? The Powers of Dorkness compel you to bookmark and/or RSS this site post-haste!

I hereby declare “Cellz” the official song of the BP disastrophe. DOOM, with a little help from ol’ Charles Bukowski.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKum7WWeq0Y

Other nominees? Submit ‘em in the comments.

But as the boss, I refuse to be outdone. Which is why I whipped up my own video featuring our Commander in Chief prepping for a very special Tea Party. It’s probably not as good as Neil’s, but I think it’s still pretty fun. Check it out:

Here is a heartwarming photo project, made possible by the blog era. Everyone make art!

Musicians comment about the new heath care bill. I found Franz Nicolay’s comments to be very relevant to my own life as a freelance artist. Lord help us.

Side note: I just wanted to mention that this video is extremely gay. And not in the “I’m-going-to-give-you-a-wedgie-you-can-use-for-earmuffs” kind of way, but a “this-video-has-a-penis-and-may-have-interest-in-touching-your-video’s-penis” kind of way. Particularly if your video happens to be wearing assless chaps. I mean super gay. Even for George Michael. It’s awesome.

W.A.G.E., meanwhile, offers information and support for artists who are tired (and hungry) of not getting paid to make the world more interesting. Musicians should pay attention to this, because fine art usually is a little ahead of the curve conceptually — in this case, in the practice of fucking over the creative element.

Working Class Magazine is a great little upstart out of the Lower East Side. I find it very personable and sophisticated at the same time. Keep up the good work, guys.

Meanwhile in Brooklyn, Ry Pepper lends her circumspect eye to arts and crafts reporting in her blog, Arts and Dafts. It’s anecdotal, practical, and warm-hearted. Very nice indeed.

If you want to remember how basic is the need for humans to participate in acts of beauty, you may want to refer to this report from the UK’s Daily Mail to witness what may be the oldest living artistic genre known to man. It will take your breath away, I imagine.

I know that this here love letter sure did it for me. My Beloved, you are the apogee of enchantment.

…But this guy ain’t no chopped liver.

Much Love, y’all.

If you asked me to,

I would build a machine

To blow up the sun.

Though that would be a pretty fucked up thing to ask for,

And maybe I would wisen up,

And wouldn’t love you anymore.

Hello lovelies!

While you may be used to seeing kids around Halloween raising funds for UNICEF, this year for Valentine’s Day, please consider sending your loved ones the fruits of my picture-making labors to support needy children around the world. UNICEF is an organization which has helped countless women and children stricken by poverty, famine, and disaster, and in the wake of the horrific earthquakes in Haiti, they need our help more than ever.

I have created a PDF book called “Epistle: Love Letters to the Visual Environment.” It is a collection of eight pages from my collage book, all along the themes of romance, sweetness, delight, and whole-heartedness. Volume One is called “Doo-Wop,” and is appropriate for anyone who likes jukeboxes.

A PayPal donation can be made here:

http://nortonanalog.blogspot.com/2010/02/valentines-day-fundraiser-for-unicef.html

Please donate $5 or more, and your loved one will receive a link to download this PDF book in their inbox on Valentine’s Day, knowing that your affection for them has been forwarded to children in need. 80% of all proceeds will go directly to UNICEF.

Send me a request at nortonanalog@gmail.com. Include your e-mail address, the recipient’s e-mail address, and, if you wish, a personal greeting of up to 100 characters (leave blank if you wish to remain a secret admirer!).

For more information about UNICEF, visit the link below:

http://www.unicef.org/

Often poets compare beauty
to things they never see or have.
“Lips of ruby, emerald eyes, golden locks,”
and all such nonsense.

To me, true beauty is everyday:
The curled bedcover, the tangled cord,
the angle of discarded shoe on wall.

“Your eyes sparkle like clean glassware.”
“Your hair shines like an attic light left on.”
“Your lips, the soft pink of a departing cat’s asshole.”

These are my compliments;
These, my words of love.

If you find yourself unspeakably tickled at this, I like you.

Apparently Sellers was, as he did a bunch more.

h/t to Brendan Calling

www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyErfpJRvqo

I love it when he starts screaming “the quark is real!” Oh, and what do I need to do to become a “spoken word, poetry, philosopher and performance artist?” Sounds like a good career move.