MFK pointed out this article by some British sod who thinks that real guitars should be more like the plastic ones in Guitar Hero.

Rather than making Guitar Hero guitars harder or more “realistic”, surely the success of Guitar Hero means that the onus is now on the manufacturers of “real” guitars to make them easier (in other words, more like the ones in Guitar Hero).

Why are they still making guitars with “real” strings that are difficult and boring to learn how to play and really make your fingers hurt? What is the point? Do we still slaughter our own cows? Dig our own wells? Work in the turnip fields for 18 hours a day, six days a week? No. Buttons have proven themselves to be much easier and more efficient. Plus, with the button guitar you can still use the instrument for its main purpose – pretending that it’s a penis or a machine gun.

Clearly, this is meant to be “provocative.” But it’s still idiotic.

[Have you taken The Contrarian Poll? Surely you can spare two minutes.]

. . .I'm totally psyched to play Fallout III when it arrives at my doorstep tomorrow. The game is set in post-apocalyptic D.C. — a fate we narrowly (and temporarily?) averted by rejecting Oldy McOld and Caribou Barbie last week.

W00t!

I finally broke down and purchased a Playstation 3, just so I could run over hookers and crackheads in Grand Theft Auto IV. GTA is the only video game I actually play, and I knew there wouldn’t be a PS2 version, so here we are.

Blu-Ray’s victory in the hi-definition DVD war was also a factor in my decision. Since the PS3 uses that format, I thought it would be a cost-effective way to dive into the hi-def video pool. Dudes, this game is gonna look so fucking hot on my 42" flat panel TV.

OK. Take a deep breath and try not to be so materialistic. . .

The only bummer is that I ordered the game and console from Amazon, ’cause I hate going into big boxes. (I also don’t want to get stabbed over a copy.)

Amazon shipped the game (and HDMI cable) this morning, but have yet to get the PS3 out the door. It’s supposed to arrive on May 5, which means I won’t even have it by the weekend. Now I’m wondering if I should just scrap that part of the order and rush over to Best Buy.

In other news, I had to do a one-day turnaround on some Congressional testimony. I’d have panicked, if it wasn’t a semi-regular occurrence. I’m not complaining; I like to work under pressure. Plus it’s about the importance of net neutrality to the independent music community — a subject I’m pretty familiar with.

Here’s something I forgot to tell you: Jebson’s post on Aleister Crowley‘s Temple of Thelema in Cefalu, Sicily was entry number 666 ! I know, I can’t believe it, either. We’re magickal up in this mofo.

Here’s some links about GTA IV, and a video featuring music by the almighty Mastodon:

New York Times poops its editorial pants over the game’s witty repartee and ultraviolence.

Slate praises its "narrative richness."

This guy just thinks it’s naughty.

But the game is already selling like hotcakes. Hotcakes that have been run over by a crazed Eastern European thug in a supercharged v8!

Save Journey from the poorly-pixelated hamburgers!

It’s common knowledge that I don’t much care for the Guitar Hero series of videogames. And I’m doubly pissed that the fake "Rock Band-Band" keeps hijacking my precious VH1 Classic. You wanna hang out with your friends and bash out classic rock songs? Buy some cheap gear and clear out the basement, like real human beings.

I know, I know, it’s a goddamn special thrill to wield a crappy piece of plastic and pretend that you’re (a decently-rendered avatar of) Slash. But Guitar Hero and its spawn aren’t the first electronic games to feature popular musicians. Back in the early ’80s, I thrilled at the Atari 2600 game featuring everyone’s favorite Sopranos scene-stealers, Journey. And there were more, too. Anyone remember the Aerosmith arcade game where you fought fascist overlords with a gun that fired CDs?

Maybe you don’t. That’s cool: Wired has kindly published an overview of the most memorable rock star-themed games ever released. And by memorable I mean, worthy of a few post-ironic guffaws.

In other news, we’re about to entertain a few family members for the holiday. If there’s an unusual lull in posts, that’s why. Hell, maybe I’ll make my mom write something. As a regular reader, she’s probably got our tone down cold.