The Contrarian

Links.

Old links, and they're starting to stink, so I guess I'll just dump 'em on you.

Metal:
wikiHow: How to Do Harsh Death Metal Vocals.

Grim and frostbitten coffeetable book: Norweigan Black Metal Goes to the Gallery [Wired Listening Post]

Amusing graffiti of the God variety. [courtesy Murf of False 45th]

Bring on the wonk:
Crime Without Punishment, War Without End [Empire Burlesque]

Obama Would "Immediately Review" Potential of Crimes In Bush White House [Huffington Post]

For All My Elitists:
Intelligence: A Rare Cosmic Commodity (and not just in the rural US, har!) [Astrobiology Magazine, via Sentient Developments]

We're all gonna die:
Big Quake "Guaranteed" to Hit California By 2037 [National Geographic, via Sentient Developments]

Will the Hadron Supercollider Result in a Black Hole? [New York Times]

Are We Headed for a Sci-Fi Dystopia? [The Cutting Edge]

The Biz:
This is THE best article I've ever read about the future of compensation and *value* in the internet age. [The Technium]

Friday Linkdump.

I really feel like I should write some kind of superfun narrative, so The Contrarian doesn't become just a music-biz information clearinghouse. But I'm busy, dammit. And I don't see any of our other writers (particularly the New York desk — how am I supposed to know how to vote?) rushing forward to help.

I've got a heavy load, and if public shaming helps to lighten it, all the better.

Here are a few links I came across while attempting to be productive.

Let's start with something naughty gross pathetic. I'm so glad I'm not this guy. The first paragraph is enough to make me puke. It's everything I hate about. . . well, I try not to be hateful. But sometimes. . .

Microsoft are trying to stop Google from taking over the world. (They had first dibs!) Part of their plan includes purchasing Yahoo!. Apparently, this could be bad news for Hotmail users. All three of you.

"Luddite and Paranoid": Beggar's Group honcho Martin Mills explains why indie labels haven't made the same mistakes as the majors in the digital era. But they're still affected by the blind stumbling of industry giants. A good read, but some stuff is only relevant to Brits.

Here's one for all of us out-of-print album hounds who don't feel like dragging around crates of vinyl. Anthology Records opens up an online digital store!

New RIAA punitive scheme: burn a CD of MP3s, owe 1.5 million.

NASA beams The Beatles' "Across the Universe"  into space. Why not Klaatu's "Calling All Occupants of Interplanetary Craft?" I asked at Idolator.

You're band is awesome. You work hard, put on good shows, but still nobody cares. Here's why.

Geeks like McCain best. Of the GOP candidates, that is. Which really isn't saying much. Although I bet bass-playin' Mike Huckabee would rule at Guitar Hero.

Report From the Front.

Hey there.

The new cat, who we've taken to calling Cornelius, has had his male reproductive organs truncated. I assure you this was, in fact, on purpose. He's now convalescing on his beloved kitty jungle gym.

Tomorrow is the big "State of the Net" Caucus here in Washing-town. I can't wait to mingle with the eggheads and tech-policy wonks. A thorough digital debriefing will surely follow.

Bye-bye, Giuliani! I guess 911 isn't enough to hang a campaign on, particularly when you look like a cross between Nosferatu and Montgomery Burns and you're running against the Plastic Fantastic, Mit Romney. Oh, and that old dude from the 'Nam.

Back in McCain's day, vacuum tubes were the hot new technology. Now they've just invented a transistor radio smaller than a grain of sand. No shit — it's made out of nanotubes!

Wold you be interested in downloading a half-million (17GB) photos stolen from MySpace profiles? If you answered yes, you're not alone.

Longtime U2 manager Paul McGuinness hates broadband, and thinks tech pioneers are "hippies." That's essentially what he said in his speech at MIDEM, the world's largest music industry conference. I agree with a lot of his points, but he did kinda come across like a blowhard. Here's the full text. It's definitely worth reading, as is Bob Lefsetz' predictably cranky response.

Remember a while back when I posted a link to a page cataloging various Presidential candidates' stances on tech issues? Well, here's an even better one, that also analyzes their views on related issues like intellectual property and copyright reform.

All Google wants to do is sell ads to the candidates. Well, besides controlling the world, bwah-hah-hah.

OK, that's all for now. Gotta watch those Florida returns.

PS: Sean, if you're reading this — I'm sorry I haven't yet returned your call. I'm a tremendous ass.

More Catblogging; Links.

I'm a sick person. I take pictures of my cats. This is Nadja, staring up at me from her favorite spot on the toilet:

Isn't she lovely, as Stevie Wonder might ask, if he could see her?

We're near to picking a name for the new guy; thanks for your submissions! Here are the final choices:

Cornelius

Griffin
Murnau

Milton

Wanna help us narrow those down?

I've got a cold and I'm deaf again in my left ear, which Sucketh Greatly. But other than that, things are cool. Here are stuffs for you to click on:

Comcast r in ur net shapin ur traffik. China r in ur net monitorin ur filesharins.

CNET asks: should AT&T police the internet? Why not — they've already given our phone records to the NSA.

Fair use, remixes — the whole sketchy bag is being debated over at the NYT Bits blog.

BREAKING NEWS: Web Buzz Can Result in Backlash!

A photographer Googles her own name, then takes pictures of herself as other women with the same name. Boise Weekly calls it art!

R.I.P.:

Vampira (I won't believe it until I see the stake through the heart.)

Brad Renfro (hey, I liked him in Apt Pupil.)

 

Links of a Kind.

Some links for your consideration:

The ongoing writers' strike eliminates musician TV appearances. Industry types fret over negative impact on sales of new Kid Rock album; others express shock at existence of new Kid Rock album.

The studios should just give the writers their digital residuals already. Digital residuals: say that 10 times fast!

South Korea introduces "boot camp" for young internet addicts. The older ones are simply ground into bulgogi. Kidding.

Is Hillary Clinton taking cues (and cash) from Big Telecom?

Future of Music Coalition in Brazil, as blogged by Tim Quirk — musician and VP of Music Programming, Rhapsody America. I didn't make this trip. But there is talk of sending me to Ethiopia next year. No kidding!

FoxyTunes: bringing a gazillion online music applications together in yet another attempt to "personalize" multimedia consumption. Remember when the Walkman was cutting-edge audio technology? No? Sigh.

Linkdump: The Alt-Newsweekly Edition.

If you're still waiting for my treatise on Emptiness, you'll just have to hold on a little longer. You can't rush these things.

In the meantime, enjoy a handful of articles culled from various alt-newsweeklies across the nation. Because reading online is such a joy!

"You know that new Cure album? It sucks. You know how I know? 'Cause I'm a Doors fan." — Bruce McCulloch, Shame Based Man. Actually, given Robert Smith's confessions to East Bay Express, it might not suck as hard as expected. The man appears to be at least trying to make a decent record. Here's to his Quixotic quest.

Patton Oswalt: The Death Cab For Cutie of comedy? F-yeah, says San Diego City Beat.

Google: Helpful online resource or KGB spying machine? I know, I know — the KGB no longer exists. But that's not what Microsoft thinks, at least according to this article in SF Weekly. The piece is unwieldy and takes way too long to make its friggin' point. But it does peer through Google's veil of technological benevolence, which probably needs to happen more often. Oh, and in case you were wondering: Microsoft is still the Devil.

Does masked rapper MF Doom still exist? Is he really using ringers in live performance? Another SF Weekly scribe investigates and comes up with. . .  a somewhat forced comparison to Lauryn Hill.

Our friend (right? right?) Herb van der Poll has a review of one-man-indie-pop band The Capstan Shafts in this week's Seven Days. It's his first, I believe. Nice going, sir.

That's it for now. Gotta go work on this ridiculous new record and do some *real* writing.

Linkdump & TV Talk.

Myself or one of my underlings will be back a little later with a more substantive post, but 'til then. . .

The music business is in free-fall. Artists don't make any money. The CD is dead. Blogs have a negligible effect on sales. Time to start a label?

Maybe we can sell lossy, compressed audio via Amazon!

Here's the tracklisting for the third installment of that dumb rock guitar video game everyone loves so much but I can't stand.

Speaking of guitars, check out this adorable little amp!

Onward.

The new TV season is upon us. Snobs, you can stop reading and go whittle yourselves a chessboard.

The rest of the world has already done their fall season previews, but we might as well reveal what we're excited about (and what we can't stand).

Happy to have "House," The Office," Dexter" and "Weeds" back. Don't blow it, kids.

"Curb Your Enthusiasm" officially sucks. If you can't recognize this simple fact, you're in denial. Last season was weak, but this one is downright unwatchable. The scenarios are forced and completely out-of-touch with reality, sapping the show of its comedic juice. One-trick-ponies don't necessarily bother me — I like "Little Britain," after all. But I cannot tolerate this degree of laziness. Larry David, methinks it's time to gather your fat wad of cash and go home.

On a brighter note, AMC has renewed "Mad Men," which is possibly the best program currently on television. Well, at least until "The Wire" comes back. Buy it from iTunes or wait for the DVDs, but watch, for chrissakes! A word of warning to those who like crime scenes and 'splosions: nothing happens on this show. But gorgeously.

Ken Burns' new documentary, "The War," is heartbreaking, to say the least. Best thing about the 14-hour series so far? No Shelby Foote! Not sure if the WWII lot are really the Greatest Generation, but I do know this: when asked to make sacrifices for the future of freedom, they did more than just go shopping.

You can feel free to skip "Chuck," on the CW. It blows. Hope "Reaper" (which premieres tonight) is better.

The Season Two debut of "Heroes" was a little wobbly, but there seems to be plenty of room to for the storyline(s) to develop.

Since we're still talkin' TV. . . caught Janeane Garofalo (who has inexplicably been added to the cast of "24") on the most recent episode of "Real Time With Bill Maher." This woman makes me ashamed of my liberal tendencies. She loves making a big production of the fact that she doesn't have a computer and refuses to use e-mail. What kind of stance is this? Listen, sweetie: your Luddite perversions in no way benefit your argument that we're being misinformed by our government. In fact, they undermine it. How am I supposed to trust the political/cultural opinions of someone who gets their information solely from the print editions of newspapers and CNN? And I'm sorry, but The Nation doesn't count.

I also want to chastise Maher for his knee-jerk support of Israel, which flies completely against his usual logic. Maher gets livid when religion is used as the basis for political and militaristic maneuvering, but in Israel's case, he's  OK with it. How is the idea of displacing an entire group of people because God wants you to live on a particular patch of dirt any less absurd than clitoral mutilation to appease the spirits? Maher also regularly speaks out against propping up a democracy (Iraq) in the middle of a hostile region with no such history. Yet he has no problem with our endless suppling of hardware (and intel) to the Israeli government — regardless of the cost in world standing, treasure or Palestinian livelihood. This is definitely mister smarty-pants libertarian's Achilles heel. As Bill himself might say, we still love you — just a little less.

OK, rant is done. Off to fill the universe with boundless compassion.

Wee Dump.

No need for that portable charger — Nanogenerator Could Draw Energy From Human Blood.

Zombie Jesus trouble? Who ya gonna call?

Imagine a world where Betamax beat out VHS: Alternate history format wars.

I think that squirrel is lookin' at us. No, really.

Goodnight, sweet Bat Boy.

Of related interest: take a Weekly World News vs. Scientology quiz.

Your friends are fatties. And they're contagous.

Reformed "Fag" makes good.

My review of the new record by up & coming indie-pop band Bishop Allen. Didn't particularly like it.

Links courtesy Candleblog, Bradley's Almanac and a bunch of places I can't recall.

Oh, and ProgBlog has been updated, too.

Dumpage.

I have a lot of stuff to do today, so you get a big steaming linkdump.

This just in: people make music on computers! I've only included this piece to show how pathetic supposed "alternative" journalism has become. I'd write an angry letter, but I'm too busy laying down some hot 1s and 0s.

Sorry, JB, but Jazz is Officially Dead.

Don't feel bad — so is Feminism.

But if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

My iPhone includes an extra feature: government surveillance!

And don't even consider bringing that homemade recharger on the plane.

Screw Sudoku, take a *crack* at this fucker!

Nuns.

Not Nuns. (NSFW).

David Bowie and Cher medley. Drugs, much?

Speaking of... Better stock up on Salvia Divinorum before it's illegal. Check out this CNN scare clip — it's almost as good as Reefer Madness.

Lastly, I've decided that most music criticism is too long-winded and/or self-important. In an attempt at a corrective, I've decided to use this space to write bite sized reviews of artists, albums or songs. I'll post at least one a week (let's say Friday) with an accompanying MP3. And why not?

Massive linkdump + commentary = major procrastination.

I really need to start boxing up stuff (including this here computer) for Tuesday's move, but I also really need to make a dump. A linkdump, you scatological bastards.

But being a man given to undue verbosity, I feel compelled to expound on each link.

This weekend, I crossed the digital T's on my Seven Days article about the death of the compact disc. Today, I found a first-person account of a fella who, having converted his CDs to MP3s, sold his entire collection to the local record shop. This economically savvy move made him a pariah at the selfsame store. Well, for a couple of days, anyway. The piece was published in a Halifax, Nova Scotia paper. Who knew they even had iPods up there?

The Police reunion show in Vancouver was celebrated by fans and critics alike. But not by sticksman Stewart Copeland, who thinks they sounded like shit.

Maybe we should just give these goddamn reunions a rest.

Speaking of: I'm a huge and motherfuckin' unapologetic Jane's Addiction fan, but I never supported their so-called reunion(s). Nor am I down with down Perry Farrell's new act, Satellite Party. I only bring it up 'cause the latter have a crappy new album with even crappier cover art. This from the dude who created a life-size, paper mache sculpture of a mystical ménage à trois for his band's second album. You know, after the one with the flame-headed, nude Siamese twins.

We've been slacking on the metaphysics lately. Are you hip to the noosphere? Did you know that Princeton University aided the Global Consciousness Project in analyzing the planet's psychic response to 9/11? The results are pretty interesting.

Wow. That's a lot of links. OK — off to pack.

PS: if you don't hear from me in the next week or so, rest assured that James P. Caldwell — also mysteriously but affectionately known as Slider — will pick up the slack. Right, Slide?