The Contrarian

Give Ben Stein Money. . . By Jebson Interlandi

"Darwin said nothing about how life originated."

Who wants to have some fun today? The above quote is from Ben Stein during his appearance on the Glenn Beck show back in 2007. Stein, famous for his classroom-cameo monotones (and speeches for Nixon), released a film in February called Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed. The "documentary" argues for the inclusion of "Intelligent Design" discussions in the public realm, particularly in the classroom.

Although I've yet to see the film, Stein's primary objective seems to be questioning Darwin's Theory of Evolution. Stein suggests that since it hasn't yet explained the origins of existence, Intelligent Design should be entertained as an alternate hypothesis.

Nothing seems to illicit as much bitter back-and-forth as Creationism vs. Evolution, but no one ever talks about how fundamentally STUPID and INEFFECTIVE the entire dispute is. In fact, actual debate between these two worlds is simply impossible. Supposition and science are totally different things.

Now, I'm not an expert. But from my understanding, a theory is an argument that can be falsified through processes of experimentation. In some cases, a theory becomes law, such as the Law of Gravity. Intelligent Design is a claim stating supernatural power(s) deliberately created all Life. It is not a theory, since it can neither be proved or disproved. It's merely somebody's assertion.

Of course, some in the scientific community posit that Existence is the result of a Big Bang, Cosmic Egg, or Electrical Bolt to the Mud Puddle, but these are only guesses. Frankly, this is all anyone can do. Yet there are key differences between empiricism and assumption. Intelligent Design is a conjectural activity with a supernatural worship agenda. Evolution is a theory regarding an ongoing process of adaptation and survival. Evolution utilizes a different critical framework than Creationism, rendering debate between the two futile.

Stein is troubled that Darwin didn't answer how life began or how cells came to be, and his counter-proposal is Intelligent Design. On a recent Bill O'Reilly segment, Stein claimed that supporters of ID are failing to be heard. Hey Stein, guess what? Since at least the days of Thales, every fucking thinker has been discussing and speculating about the supernatural or natural origins of life. The mythological arguments have been made and are certainly well known. They continue to be claims and guesses; that's all they will ever be.

To be fair, Stein is mostly concerned with modern frames of discourse. Scientists and other professionals do run a risk of  harassment if they voice religious beliefs. Freedom of speech still stands, but pointing out the possibility of God or Tiamut is frowned upon in the scientific community, mostly because it's irrelevant to their work. The aim of experimentation and research is to achieve results, and simply saying the world may have been created is unnecessary.

I've said it before: if Intelligent Design wants a place in the classroom the teachers better be prepared to address every single Creation Story known on this planet, as they are all equally possible and impossible. You say Jehovah, I say Uranus.

O'Reilly asks: "Why can't you just mention in Biology class, or whatever class you want, that there are theologians who believe a higher power was responsible for first life?"

Most children do, in fact, know there are theologians who believe in higher powers. Hell, even Secular Progressives are aware of the concept. If you are wondering why public schools don't educate on supernatural primogenitors, it's because we have churches for that. So if you want spoon-fed answers to the unanswerable, you've got a place to go, and plenty of flavors to choose from.

I've heard it suggested that Stein is only in this racket for the money. By rallying for controversial Creationism, Stein is guaranteed attention, publicity and a fatter wallet. Now that's a decent theory.

Pope Visits Yorkville. . . by James P. Caldwell

   

This weekend, Pope Benedict XVI (we call him "the one-six" around the office) visited a church in Yorkville, the neighborhood in Manhattan where I live. It was a great day for Yorkville. There was a crapload of firepower in the neighborhood, and a few of the Irish bars were packed with patrons honoring his Holiness' visit by getting even more shit-faced than usual.

Yorkville is an old German neighborhood, so it's fitting that Benedict would stop by. In the early 1900's, the bulk of Manhattan's German population moved from the Lower East Side to Yorkville. Today it's been diluted by some Irish and a fair amount of white Anglo's like me, but there's an old German church on my block and a genuine beer hall around the corner.

For the Pope's visit, we decided to do a little reading at the office and discovered that in the '30s, the neighborhood  was filled with people who thought Hitler would really make a wonderful party guest. We also learned that by traveling down 87th St. yesterday (the wrong way, I might add), his Holiness passed within two blocks of 178 E 85th St., which during the 1930's served as the national headquarters of Fritz Kuhn's German American Bund, also known as the fun-loving American Nazi Party. So you could say it was almost like a homecoming for his Holiness.

The Contrarian staff on the scene:

Well, Except One.

Buddhism has some fairy tales in it, but it's prescriptions and disciplines are hardly make-believe. Of course, it might not even be a religion. Or "true," for that matter. [Giggle.]

Thanks to Murf from False 45th for this gem of an article: "Businesses Owners, Customers Upset Over Controversial Billboard." But the rest of us just have deal with your ubiquitous "Christian" propaganda.

Hey, WE GOT OUR HOUSE!!!!!!!

The Lord does move in mysterious ways!

Fitna. . . By "John Smith"

Here it is: the 15 minute film that can bring blood to a boil. I suggest you watch it—it is, after all, a hot topic in Europe and this film is amassing impassioned responses from all sides.

I suppose I should offer an impromptu disclaimer: The posting, and contents, of this video do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions held by anyone here at the Contrarian Media Group. Being devoted to all things media, our posting of this video is purely for the sake of sharing available information. How's that?

Picking Scabs. . . By Jebson Interlandi

There really hasn't been anything to write about, plus the last few weeks I've spent in isolation slowly becoming a non-credentialed Rabelaisian scholar. My descent into total Nerdness (even more so for using that word) is nearly complete.

I feel like it's 1989 and I'm tossing and turning all night in anticipation of Back to the Future II. These days my adrenal flux is capacitated by the 15 minute Islam-critical film, Fitna, produced by Dutch MP, Geert Wilders. It's too exciting. The release is set for March 29th and shit is going down. Protests, the burning of Dutch flags, name-calling, petitions, etc. I was set to attend the initial screening, but my physician has forbade my presence, saying there is a potential "health-risk."

Supposedly, the film will be available for viewing at www.fitnathemovie.com a day or two before April 1st. I'll plug it one more time when it's out. It'll probably be pure shit, but it's worth watching.

While I'm here, I should review Nick Cave's latest: Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!! I think I'm beating Casey to the review here at The Contrarian. Sorry, buddy. [S'cool. I just turned in my review to Washington City Paper - ED.]

I like it. "Albert Goes West" and "More News From Nowhere" are my favorite songs, by far. Great lyrics on "We Call Upon the Author." 11 tracks. Less piano-oriented Cave writing. That's it, that's my review. I guess it will be released in April — in America. Here's a taste:

"We Call Upon the Author".mp3

A little while back, there was discussion over here about banning piggie-banks. This was meant to be a response to Wilders, the aforementioned ultra-conservative. By getting rid of pork-related icons, the Dutch Government was hoping to demonstrate tolerance and compassion for the Muslim population. I can't wait for the day when Jainism catches on in the U.S.A and we rally together to place a ban on fly-swatters. Respect.

Listen to Your Dalai.

The New York Times reports that today's young Tibetans in exile are questioning the Dalai Lama's commitment to non-violent solutions in their country's dealings with China.

Since March 10 the Dalai Lama has stuck to his “middle way” script and appeared remarkably affable, at least publicly, even as China accused him of masterminding the uprising and called him “a devil with a human face.”

He has repeatedly said he advocates only nonviolence, presses not for independence but a “preservation of Tibetan culture,” endorses China’s role as host of the Olympic Games in August and is happy to speak to Chinese authorities, including President Hu Jintao.

As I see it, someone has to stand firmly for rationality and the essential dignity of human life. Where's this person in the Middle East?

I'm not going to evangelize for Buddhism, 'cause reality needs no advocate. But I encourage everyone to examine the history and traditions of this remarkable method of existence. I don't know where I'd be without it. And, although I can make no claims to the Tibetan experience, I have a great deal of respect for the Dalai Lama. Truly, he is an example of a curious, engaged, tolerant, compassionate and honest man — reincarnation of Avalokitesvara or not.

“I’m fully committed to eliminate negative feelings among Tibetans and fear, distrust among Chinese,” he said Thursday in his third meeting with reporters this week. Reminded of the latest slurs against him, he leaned back in his chair and howled with laughter. “As a Buddhist monk, whatever they call me, doesn’t matter.”

Beautiful. I can only hope his people continue to heed his words.

Moses Was High On Drugs.

Well, duh. When was the last time you saw a burning bush? And I'm not talking about your date last weekend, har-har.

This kind of thing is typically Mr. Interlandi's beat, but he's MIA. Come to think of it, so is Mr. Caldwell. Maybe it's time to change the masthead?

Bullseye on the Podium. . . By Jebson Interlandi

Not a cartoon depiction of the Prophet Mohammed.

It's heating up over here. The Netherlands, as I'm sure everyone knows by now, is dealing with a few sensitive conflicts regarding, what else? Religion. Big controversy over this anti-Islamic film produced by Geert Wilders, a right-wing MP. On top of that, there are the ongoing vehement protests against Danish and Dutch satirical cartoon depictions of Mohammed. I'm not sure I should go near this issue, to be honest. 

The Iranian government is pissed off.  Gholam Hossein Elham, the recently appointed Iranian Justice Minister, is pleading for an official ban of the film. Then there are several Dutch government reps wanting to prohibit burqas from being worn in public places. Turkish and Moroccan Muslims are adding significantly to the Dutch population and reactions to this are varied. How will things play out in the next ten years?  A famously liberal and tolerant country confronted with a belief-system (like most belief-systems) that is famously repressive and restrictive. My position is simple: I'm always on the side of satire, iconoclasm, and freedom of expression — and when I say freedom, I'm referring to more than the freedom to prostrate oneself in the wake of some "holy" mortal's worldview.

A cartoon, a movie?  The way I see it, if you're truly secure with your own faith and beliefs, it shouldn't matter what anybody says about them. Actions are another matter, of course. I hope Mr. Wilders takes necessary precautions — particularly in light of activist/director  Theo Van Gogh's 2004 tragic end, which was motivated in part by his films.

Spoken, written, or illustrated criticisms of morals and beliefs should have no damaging affect on a mind that is strong and secure in said opinions. That's the way I see it, anyway. But I suppose this outlook will inevitably hinder my own bid for longevity.

But enough of that. I just came up with a fun activity to get our collective blood pressures back to normal.

Check this out: I've hung around my fair share of universities and colleges, attending Middlebury College's prestigious "Essay Camp" and Dartmouth College's 2003 summer "Talent Seminar." I love to look at course catalogs. Education is the cat's ass, no doubt, but academia is yet another self-contained, self-validating structure with plenty to mock.  If I ever become Dean of my own university here are a few courses you'll see in my personally devised curriculum:

Vegetarian Ethics

Blue Collar Sympathies: Understanding Hidrosis

Feeling Roth: Van Halen and Postmodern Discourse Theory

Secondary Narcotic Knowledge

Modern Methodology in Blues and Suffering

Foucalt's Perineum: Tickling Suppressed Fancies in the Communication Age

Klezmer Bass Lines in a Global Economy

Eh? This could become a regular feature here at The Contrarian.  The Contrarian Curriculum?  Good lord, this is severely corny.  But it puts a smile on my face, at least. [Maybe it can put money in our pockets, too! -ED]

So, I just discovered this television show called "The Sopranos." It used to be on HBO and I guess it's about the Mafia or something rad like that. It's even got Steve Buscemi. Remember in Fargo when Buscemi gets put into that machine and it cuts him up? That was awesome.

Too Much Fun. . . By Jebson Interlandi

"The 5,000-capacity park will be the first of its kind in Britain, but not in the world. In Orlando, Florida, hundreds of thousands of visitors make pilgrimages to the Holy Land Experience, where they can see a bloodied Jesus forced to carry his cross by snarling Roman soldiers."

This is, without doubt, my favorite planet. Perusing the Guardian today, I came across Big News. To challenge Darwin's theory of evolution, the AH Trust (Christian Businessmen) have tactfully decided to erect a Creationist Theme Park somewhere in Northwest England. Brilliant.

3.5 million dollars spent, in true Christian fashion, on things people need. I immediately wondered if this Genesis-based fantasyland was in response to an existing Evolution Theme Park. Turns out, this is not the case. [ED - too bad; we could've taken a staff field trip!]

Now, I don't care whether a person bases their understanding of the world on evolution or creationist theory, but come on. . . let's at least be fair. The major problem I have with creationists is their blatant pro-Genesis bias. If you want to teach creationism, go for it. Just keep in mind there's a plethora of creation myths, each one deserving equal attention. If the Apaches exist, surely they were created as they say they were. A valid creationist curriculum should contain origin legends for EVERYBODY — Babylonian, Egyptian, Chinese, Maori, Hopi, Aztec, Norse and so forth. The list is long and remarkably detailed: in the beginning there were blood clots, clay, dust, ribs, eggs, the Big Sneeze, water, chaos, the sky raining semen into the vaginal seas. . .

So why the explicit need for a Genesis Theme Park? Well, according to the AH Trust's website, this "revolutionary scheme" is crucial because:

"On television today there is so much sex and violence, it is no wonder our youth are binge drinking. . . This is a revolutionary scheme requiring innovative people with the vision to bring about change and a new direction."

I have a better solution for culture warriors intent on edifying art and entertainment: Eunuch Camp.  Sexual temptation ceases to be a problem, and the vulnerable children can peacefully surrender to the lukewarm allure of Audio Adrenaline and Sonicflood. Believe me, I'm tired of the corrupting influence secular-progressives have on our culture. I believe in preserving tradition. Whose tradition?  Which tradition?  Uh. . . whichever one worked out for the best. Take your pick.

I'm off to the carnival in two days.  Brussels, Germany, then New Years in London. I wish you all happy holidays.  Please feast and drink. Be excessive. Remember, merrymaking isn't a hobby: it's a way of life.

Tuesday Trifles.

My Nadja review is up at Dusted. Check it out; there's an MP3 posted, too.

Just about to head off to Falls Church, VA, to bring back the guitars and sundry from last Sunday's house party.

One last thing, re: Buddhism v. Transhumanism: it seems accurate to say that science desires absoulutes, even when the only way forward is to indulge the theoretical. Buddhism, on the other hand, does not neccesarily require categorical definitives. Although it doesn't deny the validity of scienttific discovery, Buddhism's general cosmological orientation is based on the idea of "no fixed quality," which thereby undermines such demands for certainty. The nature of reality is apprehended subjectively, but Buddhist practice seeks to reframe said subjectivity in an infinitely vast field of possibility — spontaneously, and in the here and now. So I still intuit a subtle conflict between human enhancement and Buddhist tradition. But I certainly appreciate George Dvorsky's perspective.

Never got to see No Country for Old Men, but Candleblog also raves. Maybe this weekend. . .

Thanks for playing.